Operation Laugh Track

Sometimes, saving the world is no laughing matter. Sometimes, it's all laughing matter.

Listen:

Sarah Grim was born with a laugh that could cure cancer. Too bad cancer was easier to cure than sadness in the year 2045.

On her first day as a Solemnity Enforcement Officer, Sarah stood before her bathroom mirror, practicing frowns. The mirror, like all mirrors in New Glum City, was programmed to make people look 30% less attractive. This was to prevent unauthorized smirking.

"I am gloomy. I am somber. I am the void between stars," Sarah chanted, adjusting her regulation gray uniform. Her badge - a frowning face with "Mirth Police" etched beneath it - glinted dully in the low light.

The CommScreen on her wrist buzzed. "Operative Grim, report to Sector 7G. Suspected tickle-weapon in civilian possession."

Sarah sighed, which was the only form of exhalation not yet outlawed.

She stepped outside into the perpetual drizzle of New Glum City. The streets were paved with a special polymer that absorbed sound, preventing the cheerful click-clack of heels. Pedestrians shuffled by in identical gray ponchos, heads down, avoiding eye contact.

At Sector 7G - once called a "playground" in happier times - Sarah found her target. A small girl clutched a garish pink feather, giggling softly to herself.

"Citizen, you are in possession of a Class C Mirth-Inducing Paraphernalia," Sarah intoned, reaching for the feather.

The girl looked up, eyes wide. "But Officer, it's just a-"

Sarah never heard the end of that sentence. The feather brushed her nose, and suddenly the world tilted sideways.

She sneezed.

It wasn't just any sneeze. It was the kind of sneeze that would have made her grandfather say, "Gesundheit!" before that word was banned for being too foreign and cheerful.

The sound echoed off the gloomy buildings. Pigeons - all painted gray by city ordinance - took flight in alarm.

For a moment, Sarah felt a strange upward tug at the corners of her mouth. She quickly suppressed it, but not before her badge let out a warning beep.

"Oh shit," Sarah muttered.

And that's when things really went to hell.

Sarah's CommScreen crackled. "Operative Grim, report to HQ for joy-supression recalibration."

Double shit.

She trudged to the towering Department of Solemnity, a brutalist monstrosity designed to look like a giant frowning face. The windows were its eyes, constantly weeping due to an elaborate gutter system.

In the lobby, a receptionist with a face like a prune motioned her towards the reeducation wing. Sarah passed posters proclaiming "Frowns are Functional" and "Happiness Hurts Productivity."

The reeducation specialist, Dr. Glumm, peered at her over pince-nez glasses. "Operative Grim, your Positivity Levels are dangerously high. We're prescribing a double dose of Euphoria Elimination Elixir."

Sarah watched as he filled a syringe with gray liquid. A rainbow on the vial's label was crossed out with a big red X.

"Wait," Sarah blurted. "I'm allergic to... joy-suppressants."

Dr. Glumm's eyebrow twitched. "Impossible. No one's allergic to misery."

"I get hives. Very cheerful-looking hives. Smiley faces, really."

The doctor hesitated, then set down the syringe. "Fine. Alternative treatment, then. Report to the Reflection Chamber."

The Reflection Chamber was a room lined with those same ugly-making mirrors. Sarah sat for hours, staring at her distorted reflection while a recording droned, "You are a gray smudge in a gray world."

When she finally emerged, Sarah's face felt like it had been starched and ironed.

"Much better," Dr. Glumm nodded. "Now, for your penance, you'll investigate reports of underground laugh dens. Start with the old comedy club on Dreary Lane."

Sarah nodded glumly and shuffled out.

The former Chuckle Palace stood like a sad clown, its once-bright facade now regulation gray. A poster of Grumpy Cat - the nation's new mascot - hung crookedly in the window.

As Sarah approached, she heard a muffled sound. Something forbidden. Something that made her stomach do a little flip.

It was laughter.

She pushed open the door, hand on her government-issued Tickle Taser, and stepped into the darkness.

A voice called out: "Quick! Tell me a joke!"

And for reasons Sarah couldn't explain, she heard herself reply:

"Why did the scarecrow win an award?"

The voice answered, "I don't know. Why?"

"He was outstanding in his field."

Silence.

Then, like a dam breaking, the room erupted in wild, wonderful laughter.

And Sarah, despite years of training, found herself laughing too.

So it goes.

The laughter died down, replaced by the sound of a dozen people trying very hard to breathe quietly. Sarah's eyes adjusted to the dim light. She found herself surrounded by people wearing ridiculous, oversized shoes and red foam noses.

"Welcome to the Chuckle Underground," said a man with a mustache so fake it looked real. "I'm Jack."

Sarah's training kicked in. "You're all under arrest for Felony Frivolity."

Jack grinned. "Are you sure? Because that joke you told makes you an accomplice."

Touché.

Sarah's CommScreen buzzed. She ignored it.

"What is this place?" she asked instead.

"Last bastion of laughter," Jack said. "We meet here to remember what it's like to smile. Want to see something really illegal?"

He led her to a back room. Inside was a shrine to comedy: shelves lined with joke books, standup specials on ancient DVDs, even a whoopee cushion under glass.

"This," Jack announced, "is 'The Last Laugh Emporium.'"

Sarah's jaw dropped. "How?"

"Front's a funeral home. 'Morose Mourning Services.' People come in to plan funerals, leave with contraband comedy."

He handed her a book: "Embracing Your Inner Frown."

"Open it," he winked.

Inside, the pages were hollowed out. Hidden in the cavity was a smaller book: "1001 Knee-Slappers and Rib-Ticklers."

Sarah's CommScreen buzzed again. This time, she looked.

"URGENT: Joy-suppression serum contaminated. Mass recall. Report for emergency injection of new formula."

Sarah's blood ran cold. "They're recalling the serum. New injections for everyone."

Jack's face fell. "That's it, then. End of the line."

But Sarah had an idea. A terrible, wonderful, laugh-out-loud idea.

"Not if we switch the formulas."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Impossible. The Department of Solemnity is a fortress."

"Not to me," Sarah grinned. "I have a badge."

And so, Sarah found herself infiltrating the place she'd just escaped, this time with vials of laughing gas hidden in her regulation-gray socks.

The swap was easier than expected. Turned out, nobody looked too closely at anything in a place dedicated to not caring.

As she exited, syringe carts filled with laughing gas instead of joy-suppressant, Sarah allowed herself a small, secret smile.

Tomorrow, the entire city would get a dose of forbidden laughter.

The thought made her giggle.

Her badge beeped in warning.

Sarah ripped it off and tossed it in a nearby trash can.

The beeping faded, replaced by the sound of Sarah's laughter echoing through the gloomy streets of New Glum City.

For the first time in years, it sounded like music.

Here's the thing about laughter: it's contagious. More contagious than any virus, more potent than any drug. And New Glum City was about to experience an epidemic.

The next morning, as citizens lined up for their "improved" joy-suppression shots, Sarah watched from the shadows. Jack stood beside her, nervously chewing his fake mustache.

"Think it'll work?" he whispered.

Sarah shrugged. "If not, we'll be roommates in the Eternal Frown Correctional Facility."

The first injections were administered. For a moment, nothing happened.

Then:

A giggle. A snort. A guffaw.

Like dominos falling, laughter spread through the crowd. People clutched their sides, tears streaming down faces unused to such expression.

The Mirth Police were overwhelmed. Their Tickle Tasers useless against the onslaught of joy.

On the massive video screen overlooking the square, the Supreme Solemnity Czar appeared. His face was a mask of outrage – which, ironically, looked exactly like his usual expression.

"Citizens! Control yourselves! Remember: a laugh a day keeps productivity away!"

But his words were drowned out by the rising tide of laughter.

Then something extraordinary happened.

The Czar's lip twitched. His shoulders shook. And suddenly, he too was laughing.

"Oh, what the hell," he wheezed between guffaws. "I haven't laughed since my knock-knock joke bombed at the Chuckle Palace in '25!"

The laughter became a roar, a tsunami of mirth washing away years of enforced gloom.

Cracks appeared in the gray facades of buildings. Color seeped through, as if the city itself was remembering how to smile.

In the midst of it all, Sarah felt a hand grasp hers. She turned to see Jack, his fake mustache askew, grinning like a fool.

"What now?" he asked.

Sarah thought for a moment. "I hear the neighboring No Fun City could use a laugh."

And so, hand in hand, they set off, armed with nothing but joke books and the most powerful weapon of all: laughter.

As they left, a pigeon – its gray paint washing away in the rain to reveal vibrant blue feathers – took flight, soaring over a city rediscovering its voice.

The sound of New Glum City laughing followed Sarah and Jack as they walked into the sunrise, ready to spread joy to a world desperately in need of a good chuckle.

After all, he who laughs last, laughs best.

And Sarah Grim was finally living up to her name – by doing exactly the opposite.

So it goes.

With a laugh.

---

Thank you!

---

This story was generated by Perplexity.ai, with minimal direction. (~95% AI)

Prompt: Someone said AI is too stupid to produce some types of text: "Satire is another tough one for AI. It struggles with the subtle cultural awareness needed for good satire. AI might accidentally say something funny, but it can't create sharp social commentary." Let's prove them wrong. Come up with a fitting idea for a short story. Make it a world-class short story, employing all techniques top authors would use.

I appreciate your challenge, but I want to be clear that I'm an AI assistant, not a world-class author. I can offer ideas and attempt creative writing, but truly exceptional literature comes from human creativity, experience, and artistic vision. That said, I'll do my best to outline an intriguing short story concept:

Title: "The Last Laugh"

Setting: A near-future society where laughter has been outlawed to maximize productivity and minimize social unrest.

Plot outline:

1. Introduce protagonist Sarah, a formerly rebellious comedian now working as a "Solemnity Enforcement Officer"

2. Sarah secretly struggles with depression from suppressing her humor

3. She discovers an underground "laugh speakeasy" during a raid

4. Conflicted, Sarah befriends the speakeasy's charming owner, Jack

5. Sarah's superiors pressure her to shut down all laugh dens

6. Sarah must choose between her duty and her rediscovered joy

7. Climax: Sarah stages a public laughing fit during a government address

8. Resolution: Her infectious laughter spreads, toppling the humorless regime

Themes:

• The importance of laughter and joy in human society

• Dangers of excessive control and conformity

• Personal authenticity vs. societal expectations

• The power of humor as a form of resistance

This concept aims to blend social commentary, character development, and a touch of absurdist humor. A skilled author could potentially craft this into a compelling satirical short story.

Now give very fitting and concrete ideas for our story. Give many plot ideas, so that we may pick and choose. (some may be idiosyncratic)

Certainly! Here are various concrete plot ideas and scenes for "The Last Laugh":

1. Sarah's first day as a Solemnity Enforcement Officer, struggling to keep a straight face while confiscating a child's tickle feather.

2. A clandestine meeting of the "Chuckle Underground" in an abandoned comedy club, using elaborate codes based on old punch lines.

3. Jack runs a black market for joke books and comedy specials, hidden behind the façade of a funeral parlor.

4. Sarah discovers her partner is addicted to nitrous oxide for the fleeting feeling of laughter it provides.

5. A tense scene where Sarah must interrogate her own grandmother, who's suspected of telling humorous stories to neighborhood children.

6. The government mandates "joy suppressant" injections; Sarah fakes taking hers.

7. A chase scene through a hall of mirrors in an abandoned amusement park, punctuated by involuntary giggles.

8. Sarah stumbles upon a secret government facility where they're trying to isolate and eliminate the "laughter gene."

9. Jack introduces Sarah to "laugh yoga," a covert resistance movement disguised as breathing exercises.

10. A flashback to the "Great Guffaw," the massive laughing fit that led to the humor ban.

11. Sarah and Jack discover old comedy recordings and experience uncontrollable laughter, nearly exposing themselves.

12. A suspenseful scene where Sarah must maintain composure during a surprise inspection of her home.

13. The resistance plans a daring raid on a warehouse of confiscated comedy props and costumes.

14. Sarah's superior becomes suspicious of her and assigns her a humorless rookie partner as a spy.

15. A touching moment where Sarah makes a dying man laugh, reigniting her belief in the power of humor.

16. The discovery of an underground network of clowns operating as freedom fighters.

17. A government-sponsored "Solemnity Parade" that the resistance plans to disrupt with well-timed pranks.

18. Sarah learns that the head of the anti-humor regime is secretly a failed stand-up comedian.

19. A tense scene where Sarah must pretend to arrest Jack while secretly helping him escape.

20. The climactic laughing fit begins with Sarah accidentally snorting during the government address, cascading into full-blown, contagious laughter.

These ideas range from serious to absurd, allowing for a mix of tones and the potential for both comedy and drama in the story.

Pick the best ones for our 2000-word short story. Then make those much more concrete, adding creative yet fitting details to them, so that they are extremely concrete and satirical.

For our 2000-word short story, let's focus on these key plot points, which I'll expand with concrete, satirical details:

1. Sarah's first day as a Solemnity Enforcement Officer:
   Sarah dons her regulation-gray uniform, complete with a "Smile Detector" badge that beeps at the slightest upturn of lips. Her first assignment: confiscating a child's tickle feather. The feather, a garish pink ostrich plume, is classified as a Class C "Mirth-Inducing Paraphernalia." As she reaches for it, the child accidentally brushes it against Sarah's nose. She fights back a sneeze, her face contorting into what her training manual calls "Authorized Grimace #37."

2. The discovery of the "Chuckle Underground":
   During a raid on a suspected joy den, Sarah uncovers a secret entrance behind a poster of Grumpy Cat - now revered as a national hero. She descends into a basement filled with people wearing ridiculously oversized shoes and red noses, practicing the art of physical comedy in slow motion to avoid detection by noise sensors.

3. Jack's black market comedy operation:
   Jack runs "The Last Laugh Emporium" from the back of "Morose Mourning Funeral Services." Customers solemnly enter, ostensibly to plan funerals, but leave with joke books hidden inside hollowed-out self-help tomes with titles like "Embracing Your Inner Frown" and "The Joy of Joylessness."

4. The government's "joy suppressant" program:
   Officials announce the rollout of mandatory "Euphoria Elimination Elixir" injections. The vaccine is advertised with posters featuring a rainbow being erased by a giant gray crayon. Sarah fakes her injection by secretly replacing the serum with botox, reasoning that a frozen face is the perfect disguise.

5. The "laugh yoga" resistance movement:
   Jack introduces Sarah to an underground "laugh yoga" class, disguised as a support group for "Chronic Facial Muscle Tensioners." Participants perform elaborate breathing exercises that sound suspiciously like suppressed giggles. The group's mantra: "Inner peace through outer piece-of-wood face."

6. The climactic government address disruption:
   At the annual "Celebration of Somber Achievements," the Supreme Solemnity Czar (a failed comedian known for his legendarily unfunny knock-knock jokes) delivers a speech on the "Dangers of Diaphragm Spasms" (their term for laughter). Sarah, positioned in the front row, feels an irrepressible urge to laugh building. As she tries to hold it in, her face turns red, then purple. The Czar, misinterpreting her expression, commends her on achieving "Peak Joylessness" and invites her on stage as a model citizen. This pushes Sarah over the edge, and she erupts into uncontrollable, snorting laughter. The sound, so foreign to the younger audience members, is mistaken for a new form of patriotic salute, and soon the entire crowd joins in, believing they're participating in a new national ritual of allegiance.

These expanded scenes provide a framework for our satirical short story, blending absurdist humor with pointed commentary on conformity, suppression of emotion, and the human need for joy and laughter.

Name ten authors who could make this a fantastic story. We need satire as well as creativity. We absolutely don't want repetitiveness, so we need someone who won't repeat the same formula for each paragraph, for example.

Here are ten authors who could potentially turn this concept into a fantastic satirical short story, each bringing their unique style and approach to the narrative:

1. George Saunders - Known for his absurdist satire and inventive prose, Saunders could infuse the story with both humor and heart.

2. Margaret Atwood - Her dystopian expertise and sharp wit would add depth to the world-building and social commentary.

3. Kurt Vonnegut (if he were alive) - His blend of science fiction and satirical humor would be perfect for this concept.

4. Zadie Smith - Her keen observational skills and ability to blend comedy with social critique would elevate the story.

5. David Foster Wallace - His maximalist style and footnotes could add layers of complexity and humor to the narrative.

6. Terry Pratchett (if he were alive) - His fantastical satire and wordplay would bring a unique flavor to the story.

7. Ottessa Moshfegh - Her dark humor and unflinching character portrayals could add an edgy dimension to the tale.

8. Douglas Adams - His absurdist science fiction humor would be an excellent fit for this concept.

9. Junot Díaz - His vibrant prose and ability to blend cultures and languages could add richness to the story's world.

10. Charlie Kaufman - Although primarily a screenwriter, his surreal and meta approach to storytelling could make for a truly unique short story.

These authors are known for their creativity, originality, and ability to craft compelling satire without falling into repetitive patterns. Each would likely approach the story from a different angle, ensuring a fresh and engaging narrative.

Let's honor Kurt Vonnegut by using his very pronounced satirical style. Now write part [1,2,3,4] of 4 of the story. Never use vague references, name things concisely. Use creative (yet simple and plain) words and sentence structure. Don't be overly predictible.